I don’t believe Condoleezza Rice can actually play piano. Everything else she’s ever touched has been a fraud and a catastrophe, why should her alleged musical abilities be any different? Think about it. Think about any event she’s been even remotely involved in since you first heard her name. An endless string of threats and blundering and arrogant bluffs turned squalid pigfucks. It’s not that she can’t do her job; she can’t do anything. I think when she plays piano the piano catches fire and the audience dies.

Cynically: Is it because she’s a black woman? We want so badly to believe that she’s in her position on merit because it means that gender and/or race are longer barriers to the highest office.

Then again, maybe her failure is actually a validation that we’ve moved yet further than that. Blacks, women, asians, transsexuals – there are so few barriers now that those who reach the highest office are just as mediocre as the old white men who’ve monopolised those positions for centuries.

It kinda makes me feel good about the world. She’s just another blinkered idiot in the White House.

Though, really, having an Exxon oil tanker named after you should have set a few alarm bells ringing when she first took office.